A Wreck for You
by pleasesayitsnotso
Summary: One Shot: Set after 2x05 The Atomic Job, Daniel finds himself back in his office amidst the aftermath of an evening of turmoil, and the vivid memories of all that had come to be are ones that fall heavy on a guilty and torn conscience.


_"I didn't mean to fall for her, but I did. And in my fear of losing her, I did just that."_

 _―_ _Rachel Harris_

* * *

Daniel was fairly certain that today couldn't possibly get any worse than it already was. His body and mind was wrecked from the constant battle between the menageries of emotions he was feeling, he was well and truly torn. He'd already known he was damaged goods anyone could see that by merely having eyes, but now it was pretty clear he was messed up far beyond his physicality.

His mind replayed to him in torment the moment in which he had seen Peggy impaled upon that metal rod, the desperate and grasping gasps that leaked from her crimson lips were a sound he would have rather lived without hearing. The stark scarlet stain that seeped through her clothing, its size expanding in an alarming fashion that signalled this was no mere scratch; it could have been the end. **He could have lost her forever.**

But his brain was not content on just letting him relive that moment, for it also forced upon him the instant that Violet looked upon him, tears stilled in waiting in her eyes. She knew.

 _"I think you're in love with her. Are you Daniel?"_

Her question so severe, the plea for his honesty painted liberally upon her furrowed brow. Her glisten of unshed tears however held the broken wish that it wasn't true, but their mere presence betrayed the fact that it was. He had so willingly handed over his fractured and wounded heart to this virtuous and enchanting woman that he had failed to take the time to analyse whether he was actually able to give it. He wasn't... not really; the denial and adamant determination to move on had clouded his vision and had meant that a rather large segment of his affections had been left with Peggy. Whilst Violet had been given the broken scraps of a poor show of a gentleman, a man who did not deserve the pure and blinding love she bestowed upon him. He was a complete sham.

Sat at his desk with a tumbler of whiskey, he stewed in his own disgust and self-loathing, whilst his gaze seemed to drift around the room searching for an escape from the thoughts that whirred within his mind. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his usually sleek styled locks were somewhat dishevelled with strands falling against his forehead, pulled in unnatural directions. He was a mess, a complete and utter mess. Glancing at the time, a ridiculous early hour of the morning, he winced in tired repulsion as the lamp light reflected his current appearance in a glass window, cementing the conclusion of his personal disarray.

The aftermath of all that had come to pass was far more painful than the moments in which they occurred, something he could never have thought imaginable. The taunting presence of the engagement ring that had once symbolised a new chapter, a new beginning lay bare on the oak desk. Its simple circular shape and gleaming gem glared up at him, a broken promise laid waste in the shards of a dream that once was. Pulled under by the fatigue he had run himself into, and lulled pleasantly by the liquor he had consumed Daniel allowed his eyes to close and the respite of slumber to take hold. He hoped that upon awakening he would find that it had all been a dream, a vicious lesson to be taught, but he knew he wouldn't be that lucky.

The dull thuds that met him on his awakening was one of which he initially thought was actually in his head, and it took him a few minutes of squinting and pained groans to realise it was actually from his door. His rough and weary call, rang out in the small space that was his office,

"Come in." Despite the opening of his door he continued to stretch and contort his features trying in earnest to grasp onto some semblance of being awake. His eyebrows arched high upon his forehead in an effort to pull open his eyes, which in turn burned lowly at the new introduction of bright light. However it was the strained and stiff walk of the entering individual that pulled him from his somewhat bizarre routine, shifting his attention he was met with the one person who should not have been there. Peggy.

"What the..." Despite her stilled expression, Daniel could see clearly the suppressed panic within her eyes, the adamant urgency that thrummed through her body causing her to fidget ever so slightly. Despite the awkward and stiff manner in which she held herself, a clear sign that she should be resting and not working, she immediately launched into her line of enquiry,

"Dr Wilkes disappeared last night Daniel, we need to make progress and soon." His features formed a picture of a man who had lost his way; his gaze was forlorn whilst his listless expression displayed the wearied state he was in. His tone of voice was fragile, void of the confidence and command he usually displayed as chief,

"You shouldn't be here." From a single shift of his gaze to the area of her wound, he could see clearly the thick padding from where her bandage sat. Through the pale blue blouse she currently wore, and the outline of her dressing he could make out a dark blotch that indicated she had been bleeding again. Of course she knew of this, but when was anything to stand in the way of Peggy? Seemingly never. As if to prove that point she continued on, strength and determination clear within her voice,

"But I am and I intend to do something useful whilst I am here, we are losing precious time and we need to find Dr Wilkes." With a slow shake of his head, Daniel's fingers and thumb smoothed across his forehead in a bid to ease the tension held there. His brow creased and furrowed as he relived the night before all over again, her laboured breathes; they way her fingers searched for his; the sheen of perspiration that collected upon her paling skin. He couldn't deal with this, not now,

"Please go home." Her blundered and unsteady steps approach his desk, a typical show and indication of defiance on her part, a habit she seemingly does often. Once steadied her obstinate stance continued as she stated,

"And a load of good that'll do." The quirk of her head and the sarcasm that laced her tone was enough to push him over the edge. He couldn't believe that she was truly that clueless to the extent of her accident, of the possible horrific and distressing ending that could have come to be. Her disregard of the value of her life; of the importance of her being; and her existence in this world was one that was the last straw for Daniel Sousa. Straightening up he cast a hard expression towards her, his features rigid in a show of command, as he sternly stated,

"You need to rest, that's an order Agent." The steely and unwavering glare from him indicated wholly that this was non-negotiable; she had no choice or option. The wave of bitter feeling that overcame her was completely oblivious to the source of his sharp address, as a beat of silence fell between them a new tension shifted into play. One that clearly marked a line that needed to be spoken of and discussed, but for the moment it stayed a border for where the acceptable met the unreasonable. Before she responded however her eye caught the glistening refraction of light from a metallic object, and on finding its source she found that it was in fact the engagement ring she had come across not too long ago. Immediately her mind concocted assumptions as to the reasoning behind his abrupt behaviour, but she knew that now was not the time to pry. He wouldn't want it. Her lips pursed tightly together before she replied, her harsh tone now lost and replaced by one of a lighter and more formal nature,

"Sorry Chief for taking up so much of your time." With a curt nod she precariously walked out the door, the stiffness in her form clear to see. On her exit a large exhale of breathe came forth from Daniel, his once rigid figure melting into the despair he now felt. Despite the regret he felt at how he had handled his interaction with Peggy, the unforgiving hard structure of his words reminding her that as much as they were... friends, acquaintances, he was also her boss. He could not however reprimand himself too severely, for his only wish was that she would be safe and well, and in her current state she would not be able to defend herself out on the field. He'd already lost one remarkable woman from his life, an offence he would punish himself for ruthlessly; he did not think he had it in him to lose another. **He could have lost her; it had been so close to becoming reality, to becoming a life where she ceased to be. A possibility he had once tried to make, as he ran from what he felt and left behind the one person who saw him as the man he really was. He had wanted her to be distant, absent from his life in order to allow his affections to fade and wane, to draw out the embarrassment he felt at her rejection. But to lose her completely, he couldn't and wouldn't let that happen.**


End file.
